How to Encourage Your First Born to Interact with Baby for Your Session
Becoming a big sibling is a HUGE transition for your first born- an even bigger life transition than going from 1 to 2 children is for parents. You see, regardless of the age gap between your kids, your oldest genuinely does not know what to expect when the baby arrives. You have been through a bringing-home-baby experience before, and they have not. That is why it is important for parents to help guide their first-born into their new role as a Big. We want it to come naturally, but sometimes, it needs a little coaxing.
Oftentimes, your newborn photo session will come quickly after baby is born. This can fall during or after the honeymoon phase your oldest is experiencing with his or her new sibling. If sweet and loving sibling photos are on your wish-list, this blog piece is for you!
If your child is less than 4 years old, your first born is cognitively not able to understand the concept of having a little brother or sister just yet. He or she is wondering who this little baby is, why they wont leave, and why mom and dad are so concerned with it. Sometimes, this can lead to feelings of frustration early on; they are simply just not ready to share you and they don’t know how to… after all, they have never had to before.
Before your session, practice gentle hands at home and allow your big to interact with the baby on his or her own terms. It is important to maintain a safe environment while also trying not to force feelings or project anxiety onto your first born If the baby feels like he or she is taboo or should not be touched, your child may either become resentful of the baby or resort to negative attention-seeking behavior (hitting, being rough, etc.). It is normal to test boundaries regardless of age, so do your best not to have negative baby-related interactions early on.
During your newborn session, it is important for your photographer to greet your first born on their level, use his or her name, and have a small-something to give them for becoming a big. This will help establish the photographer as a positive person and a safe adult. Throughout the session, allow your photographer to take the lead with directing your toddler. Sometimes, if the directions are coming from an outsider, it is more enticing for a little one to cooperate (or try to)- after all, there is a new person to impress! Avoid punishments at all cost, and honestly, let your child lead the way. A good and experienced photographer can turn them into a helper, demonstrate a gentle nose-boop on baby, or show them how to sniff their little toes, making for some really special shots.
If you have an older child (5-8), bribes will be your best friend. Offer your child something tangible and special for following directions during the session. A sought-after toy or treat immediately following the photoshoot will make the experience feel valuable and they will be more encouraged to cooperate. Your photographer will need to be flexible and allow your child breaks when needed, which is why it is encouraged to have another trusted adult present at your shoot, such as a grandparent or aunt/uncle.
Most importantly, you and your photographer will need to let the children take the lead. If you allow yourself to release control and go forward with a “just one good shot” attitude, you are setting your expectations and child up for success. It will also allow your photographer to TOTALLY WOW you when you get your images back! Here are some beautiful photographs from a recent in-home session in North Fond Du Lac where a high-energy boy became a big and totally rocked his photoshoot (with lots of bribes and gentle trickery from me and his parents).
If you’re looking for an in home newborn photographer near Appleton, Wisconsin, I would love to be your girl!
